Gryffindors and Slytherins PART 2
by ActualWeeb
Summary: Oh, look, a Mary-Sueish self-insert story. After her friend, Helena, is petrified, Jasmina vows to get to the bottom of whatever rendered her friend useless. She also vows to draw on her face and color her hair while she's unaware, but that doesn't sound as cool as getting to the bottom of whatever rendered her friend useless. Rated for language.


**ActualWeeb: I know I said I probably wouldn't come back to this universe, but I'm bored. Also, I'm half asleep as I'm typing this, so forgive me if I mess up while typing.**

 **I don't own Harry Potter.**

* * *

"What the-?"

It was a beautiful day outside- the birds were singing, flowers were blooming, and second-year Helena Lucht was standing in front of a mirror, looking straight at a basilisk. Those would be the last words she spoke before being petrified, only to be found an hour later, her cold hands resting on the sink, and her mildly-iritated-and-confused-looking eyes staring blankly into the mirror.

"It's Helena Lucht, a Slytherin student," Professor McGonagall frowned. "Oh, dear, Albus, Severus will have our heads!"

"Severus is the least of our worries, Minerva," Dumbledore cringed. Just as those words came out of his mouth, the infirmary doors slammed open behind them, resulting in a loud 'bang!'

"Headmaster," said Jasmina cooly. "I heard that my friend was petrified."

There was no way that Jasmina could have known this, seeing as she had been discovered a mere 7 minutes ago, but that wasn't an issue when it came to Jasmina-fucking-Kokalj.

* * *

"What do you think you're doing?" Jasmina demanded.

"Oh, uh, hey, Kokalj," Ron said nervously. He put the glass of muddy liquid down on the sink. "What're you doing here?"

"My friend was petrified here not long ago- they just moved her to the Hospital Wing 15 minutes ago. What are you doing here?"

"We'll tell you if you promise not to tell anyone," Hermione piped up.

"Fine, I'm listening."

"We got polyjuice potion- we're about to take it to sneak into the Slytherin dorms and question Malfoy," the bushy-haired girl answered. "We think he might know something."

"Oh. Well, I can help you. Got enough for one more?" Jasmina asked.

"Yes, but who's hair will you take?" Harry asked.

"Accio," Jasmina said lazily. About 60 seconds later, a small strand of neon purple hair zoomed in.

"Purple?" Ron asked.

"Yeah," Jasmina shrugged. "Figured that as long as Helena can't stop me, I might as well charm her hair purple."

"Didn't you say she was petrified?" Harry frowned. Jasmina grinned.

"Malfoy doesn't know that."

* * *

"Pureblood," Jasmina said to the portrait, which opened without complaint.

"Helena!" Malfoy exclaimed. He was the only one in the common room. "Why is your hair purple?"

"Jasmina decided it would be funny to color my hair purple. I look hot, so I'm keeping it for now, I guess," Jasmina shrugged. Ron, Harry, and Jasmina all sat down next to an oblivious Malfoy.

"So, Malfoy," Jasmina began, "Are you the heir of Slytherin?" Harry and Ron gaped at her bluntness.

"No. I wish," Malfoy replied. "My dad says he's got something to do with this, but I don't know what. Impressive, huh, Helena?'

" Er...yeah," she frowned. "What exactly did your father say about all this?"

"Not much, just that after all the Mudbloods are gone, the Malfoys will be rewarded for their involvement.''

"I thought I told you not to use that word around me," Jasmina hissed. Malfoy flinched.

"Gah, sorry, sorry!"

Pretending to be angry, Jasmina stormed out, followed by Ron and Harry, who were staring at her in awe.

* * *

"How did you do that?" Ron asked when they got back to Myrtle's bathroom.

"Malfoy has a crush on Helena," Jasmina shrugged.

"Ohhhhh," Ron and Harry said together.

* * *

"Hey, you three," Jasmina said to the golden trio a week later. "I solved the mystery of the Chamber of Secrets, come on, we've got a basilisk to kill."

"A basilisk?" Ron gasped.

"You heard me, ya little twat. Follow me."

* * *

About an hour later, the four Gryffindors found themselves staring up at an ugly statue of Salazar Slytherin, holding a sword that had been stolen from Dumbledore's office.

"Wanna graffiti that statue later?" Jasmina grinned.

"You dare disrespect the greatest founder so?" An angry, feminine voice said behind them.

"Ginny?!" Ron gasped upon turning around. "You're-?"

"The heir of Slytherin? Yes."

"But we're not-"

"Oh, of course you filthy blood traitors couldn't possibly be the heirs to the amazing and powerful Slytherin!" Ginny giggled. "What a laughable thought!"

"Then what-'

" Voldemort," said Jasmina. "She's possessed by Voldemort."

"Ooh, good job, a Gryffindor finally uses it's brain for once," Voldegin smirked.

"How did you-?" Hermione began.

"Her eyes are red. Red is the eye color of super evil people. Voldemort is super evil."

"...I take back the previous complement."

"What's that diary you're holding so tightly?" Harry frowned.

"Nothing!" Voldegin yelled, before hissing furiously in parseltongue.

"...There's a big-ass snake right behind me, isn't there?" Jazzy sighed. Voldegin nodded. With one movement, Jasmina closed her eyes, spun around, and swung the sword at the basilisk's neck, decapitating it.

"NO!" Voldegin screamed. "How could you-?"

"Accio diary."

"Wait, wha- NO, NO, NO! HOW COULD YOU HAVE KNOWN THE ONLY WAY TO DESTROY THE DIARY WAS WITH THE SWORD INFUSED IN BASILISK VENOM?"

"I didn't," the Gryffindor shrugged. "I just thought it was ugly."

"NOOO!"

And thus Voldegin was no more.

* * *

"What happened?" Ginny blinked upon regaining counciousness in the infirmary.

"Harry saved you from being possessed by Voldemort, shut up a second," Jasmina yawned as she poured Mandrake Draught down Helena's throat.

"Where'd you get that?" Harry blinked. "That's not supposed to be ready for another few months."

"I just bought it," she shrugged. A few minutes later, Helena sat up abruptly.

"-hell is tha- where am I?'

" The infirmary, " Jasmina answered.

"Why am I in the- I was petrified, wasn't I?" Helena sighed.

"You were petrified," Jazzy nodded.


End file.
